If music be the food of love
by Lady Sauce
Summary: A collection of Wolfstar drabbles inspired by songs. Anything from fluff to angst and anything from MWPP to OotP.
1. Olyckssyster

Alright, general introduction: there is not going to be any cohesive tone or era here. It all depends on the song. I have allowed myself to skip songs that gave me no inspiration whatsoever. Sometimes lines are lifted straight from the song, sometimes I've just drawn on the theme, or even the feel of a particular line that stuck with me. The time period will vary, from MWPP right up until OotP. So will the length; a few of these are just a couple of lines long, while others - like the first chapter - are a fair bit longer. In the beginning I'll be posting the ones I'm finished with something like once a day, and after that I'll just update whenever I write one!  
I'm not sure how I feel about this first one. It's a bit of a tricky subject to start off with, but... it's what shuffle assigned me! The song is _Olyckssyster_ by Lisa Ekdahl. You can probably find a translation on Google if you feel like it, but I think the theme should be fairly evident.

* * *

Sirius was breathing heavily when he finally reached the common room, near shouted the password at a very insulted Fat Lady and scrambled through the hole. He let out a strangled cry as he spotted James, playing chess with Lily; the bespectacled boy raised his eyebrows in alarm.  
"Prongs," Sirius managed. "Prongs! Prongs, have you seen Moony? Was he- did he come by here?" Lily, with her copper hair in an elegant braid, had half-turned in her seat to stare at Sirius in bewilderment. Her boyfriend shrugged helplessly.  
"Well, yeah, I guess, he-"  
"Where was he going?" Sirius had rushed over to his friend's side. "Did he tell you? Was he upset?"  
"I'm not sure, he might've- Sirius, what's going _on_?"  
"I think he's in the owlery," Lily offered, concern clear on her face. "He had a letter. I didn't see what it was."  
Sirius immediately spun around, planted a kiss on the mouth of the shocked redhead and rushed back out, ignoring James' outraged cries. He took the stairs two at a time, pushing past a few horrified firsties. His heart hammered in his throat; he forced himself to focus. _Find Remus_. When the doorway to the owlery came into view, he stopped only for a second to catch his breath, before sliding the door open calmly in a tremendous effort of will. There was somebody sitting on the far side of the room, black school robes flowing onto the floor around them as they hunched over; Sirius knew without having to look that it was Remus. He approached his shuddering form carefully. The boy, who he could now see was crying silently, gripped the wall with his long, slender fingers, rough with scars. His wand had been carelessly discarded, and it lay beside him, emitting a soft light. The owls were watching the sobbing boy with their heads cocked curiously. Sirius reached out to lay a hand on his friend's shoulder; Remus started, turning his head slightly. His eyes were red-rimmed and glistening.  
"Pads," he whispered, voice hoarse and strained, before wiping his wet cheeks on the sleeve of his robe. He pulled his knees up against his chest and continued to face the wall. "What do you want?" Sirius' mouth was a thin line as he kneeled beside him, wrapping his arm around his shoulders.  
"Remus, listen to me. You need to tell me what's wrong. I can't help you if you don't talk to me." Remus' head sank into his crossed arms.  
"You know bloody well what's wrong," he muttered. "Don't act like you don't. You're a terrible liar."  
"Alright," Sirius conceded. "The wolf. This is about the wolf."  
"Of course it's about the wolf!" Remus' voice had risen into an angry snarl. "Can't you see I'm-" His voice broke, and Sirius moved closer.  
"Moony," he said, very quietly. "Why did you come up here?" He was met with stubborn silence.  
"Please," he pleaded. "Were you-" He swallowed uneasily. "Were you going to… hurt yourself?" There was another long period of silence before Remus responded.  
"Figured I'd have a go at flying." His voice was barely audible. "I've not got a broom, but I'm sure I'd…" He trailed off. Sirius drew him into a tight embrace, wrapping his long arms around him from behind; Remus did not relax, but leant into him and sighed.  
"Moony, I love you." More silence. "I do, you know that. You have to promise me never to do something like this again. Please."  
Remus closed his eyes. "You say that like I have a choice."  
Sirius pressed a kiss to his tear-streaked cheek. "Of course you do. You always do. You can't control everything, I know that, but you can control this. You're the strongest person I know, Moony. You really are. Please stay with me." With this, he got up; he offered Remus his arm and, when he took it, drew him onto his feet. He wiped the last of the tears from the other boy's face with his thumb, smiling.  
"Let's go to the common room," he suggested. "I think we're annoying the owls."


	2. You make my dreams

_You Make My Dreams_ by Hall and Oates.

* * *

It was Valentine's Day. The castle was almost empty, and a boy and a werewolf were dancing a laughing mock waltz under the serenely snowing ceiling of the Great Hall. In the middle of a drawn-out twirl, Remus stopped to pull Sirius closer by his collar.  
"You make my dreams come true," he whispered. And if the other boy thought it was cheesy, he masked it well as they kissed giddily.


	3. Call them brothers

_Call Them Brothers_ by Regina Spektor feat. Only Son.

* * *

The air fizzled and crackled with magic as curses and shielding spells bounced off each other. Remus furiously fired hex after hex, mimicking every nasty, cruel spell he'd ever seen his friends use on repulsive Slytherins, and the colourful light sparked from his wand as he whipped it at Sirius. The other man defended himself with panicked, frantic movements, seemingly unwilling to fire at his old friend. Remus blinked back angry tears as he continued his assault.  
"You foul, backstabbing murderer!" His voice was a growl in the dark alleyway.  
"No, hold on-"  
"Shut _up!_ " A Stupefy narrowly missed, and he hissed in satisfaction as Sirius ducked. "Stop lying to me! It's too late!"  
"Moony, please, I didn't-"  
"_No!_" He punctuated his furious scream with a body-bind jinx, which Sirius blocked. "Don't you call me that! Like we're at Hogwarts, like James is- like nothing's changed!" He stopped suddenly, clutching his head in his hands as loud sobs tore through his body.  
"It's your fault," he croaked finally. "You did this. James! Your _friend! _Our friend! And Lily?! I loved you! I _trusted_ you!" Refusing to look at the other, he turned on his heel and Apparated. Left alone in the alley, Sirius sank to his knees.


	4. Malagueña salerosa

_Malagueña Salerosa_ by Chingon.

* * *

They knelt together under the Cloak, clutching each other on the floor of the dormitory. Remus was very quiet as Sirius whispered reassurances to him.  
"Pads, you know we can't." Remus' eyes were downcast as he spoke at last. "You wouldn't- You can have a brilliant life. You're amazing. I can't do this to you. I've… I've hurt you enough."  
"You haven't hurt me!" Sirius sighed. "I don't care that you're a werewolf. I don't care that you're Muggleborn, and I certainly don't care that you're _poor_!" He kissed Remus softly. "I would give every last knut of my stupid inheritance if it meant staying with you."  
"You're an idiot." Remus laughed quietly. "I'm not worth it."  
"Yes." Sirius clutched his face and locked their eyes firmly together, smiling. "Yes, you are."


	5. Walking with a ghost

_Walking with a Ghost_ by Tegan and Sarah.

* * *

There were times, during the terrible years when Sirius was in Azkaban, when Remus would remember. After a rough moon, he would feel a subconscious wrongness at the solitude. At night, curling up alone in his bed, he would miss secret kisses in abandoned corridors. He resolutely ignored these impulses; whatever Sirius had once been to him, it had ended when he betrayed him. Betrayed all of them. Still, even as his blood boiled with anger, he felt the ghostly presence of his former lover always at the back of his mind.


	6. There is a light that never goes out

_There is a light that never goes out_ by The Smiths.

* * *

They were on the back of Sirius' motorbike, hurtling through the air as Remus clung to his boyfriend's torso. Occasionally one of them would attempt to talk, but the wind whipping about their heads made conversation impossible. It was a warm summer evening, and the sky was aflame with red, gold and violet above them. Sirius, laughing as the cold air rushed over his face, leant back into Remus' touch. He would have gladly stayed up there forever.


	7. Blindness

_Blindness_ by Metric.

* * *

It was raining as Remus exited the castle that night. He had not brought an umbrella, and turned his scarred face skyward as the hard droplets hit him. A tentative bark was heard from the bushes. Remus smiled and stepped closer to the source of the sound.  
"It's alright," he said, voice low. "It's alright, Pads. I know." He knelt, holding out his hands, and a large, black dog made its way over to him. It licked his face happily, and he scratched its neck, burying his fingers in the wet fur.  
"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I thought… Well. It was stupid. I should've known."  
The dog whined and nuzzled his neck. Remus closed his eyes.  
"I know he's in there," he said. "Come on. I'll take you to my office."  
Padfoot wagged his tail and bowed his head slightly, and Remus got up and led him into the castle.


	8. Be OK

_Be OK_ by Ingrid Michaelson. This is a short one!

* * *

Remus stared at the wall of the hospital wing, clutching Sirius' hand.  
"I just want to be okay," he whispered. Sirius held him and closed his eyes.


	9. Do it with a rockstar

_Do It With A Rockstar_ by Amanda Palmer.

* * *

Brushing his dishevelled locks out of his face, setting his near-empty wine glass onto the coffee table, Remus stumbled to his feet.  
"I should go," he muttered. "It's late." Sirius grinned and clutched his sleeve.  
"You shouldn't Apparate. You're drunk." He stood and kissed Remus, long and deep. "Besides… wouldn't you rather stay?"  
"You know I would, but-" Sirius silenced him with another kiss. He ran his tongue along the werewolf's warm lips.  
"Then stay."


	10. Romance is dead

_Romance is Dead_ by Paloma Faith. Er. I debated posting this.

* * *

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose as he took in the sight before him. Sirius was grinning proudly and happily, reclined in his bed with a Gryffindor scarf tied like a bow around his neck. He was very naked. Remus sighed and knelt on the bed, smiling wearily.  
"Do you know," he said, "that you couldn't be any less romantic if you tried?" Sirius shrugged and wrapped his arms around his neck.  
"Yeah, well." He pressed a brief kiss to Remus' lips. "Happy birthday."


	11. Ever fallen in love

_Ever Fallen In Love_ by Pete Yorn.

* * *

It was the giggling. The giggling was insufferable. Remus huffed and moved pointedly away from Sirius and the curvy Ravenclaw he was snogging. She was straddling him, large breast bobbing beneath her robes as they kissed, and had his tie wound around her hand as she pulled him closer. His hands were at her hip and in her thick hair, and his back was pressed against the trunk of the large tree. Remus swallowed a decidedly undignified noise and turned away; James was watching him sympathetically.  
"What?" he snarled. "He can snog whomever he bloody well pleases!"


	12. Saturday night thunderbolt

_Saturday Night Thunderbolt_ by Ludo.

* * *

They were done with their NEWTs at last, and had retreated to the Three Broomsticks along with the rest of their year. The atmosphere was loud, gleeful and buzzing, and more than a few couples were kissing happily in dark corners. Empty mugs littered the room, and the students who'd turned seventeen were knocking back tumblers of firewhisky. Remus had settled at a miraculously empty table with a book and a small bottle of pumpkin juice, brought from school, and was trying his best to ignore the noise. When his eyes flickered to the bar, he spotted Sirius, dishevelled and gorgeous, talking enthusiastically to Rosmerta. The flush of intoxication was on his cheeks; no doubt he'd had a few helpings of whisky himself. His school robes had been discarded in favour of a rich emerald green pair of the kind Remus would never, ever be able to afford. He received two frothy mugs of butterbeer from the barmaid, and as Remus watched in stunned silence he made his way over to the table.  
"Hey there, Moony," he said, grinning. "Mind if I join you?"


	13. Alcohol

_Alcohol_ by Gogol Bordello.

* * *

His cheek rested on the old wooden table, glossy eyes surveying the plethora of empty wine bottles next to him. His finger circled the rim of the wine glass, drawing a low, monotone noise from the thin material. He knew, somewhere in the fog of his mind, that he was drunk, but his thoughts were sluggish like molasses and he swatted them away. His free hand was scratching at the neck of a large, dog-shaped patronus he had drunkenly conjured, and which had settled happily at his side. It would have been their anniversary. Seven years since they nervously kissed under Hogwarts blankets. He wondered if, within the cold stone walls and sharp despair of Azkaban, Sirius was thinking of him.


	14. Sax Rohmer 1

_Sax Rohmer #1_ by The Mountain Goats.

* * *

The Order had left long ago, dragging a screaming Harry with them. Remus had followed, of course he had – he had to keep up appearances – but he had swiftly Apparated back. He sank to his knees in front of the archway now, one hand barely nudging the whispering veil. Hot tears stung his cheeks, and in the silence he allowed himself several sharp, broken sobs. All his maturity, his long years, carefully nurtured restraint – forgotten. He remembered the war, when James and Lily had died; it had hurt. It had hurt more than any full moon, and yet this was so, so much worse. It was the broken bones and new skin of the wolf, the hollow sorrow of the hospital wing afterwards, the uncompromising terror of the dementors. It was pain. Pure, scorching pain. He cried and cried for a very, very long time, until his eyes were red and dry and his voice was gone. He rested his forehead on the cold stone and breathed out, long and slow and shuddering.  
"Come home." He closed his eyes. "Please, come home to me."


	15. Bright lanterns

_Bright Lanterns_ by The Tallest Man On Earth.

* * *

It was the spring of their sixth year. The sun shone brightly through the dormitory windows, and Remus woke with a yawn. The first thing he realised, tired and dizzy, was that this was not his bed. If the position hadn't given it away – the window was to the wrong side – the ceiling certainly would; quidditch posters and charts of complex transfiguration spells had been pinned to the dark wood, along with a photo of the marauders. They laughed and nudged each other, waving at the photographer. Remus blinked. This was _Sirius'_ bed. With heat rising in his cheeks, he became abruptly aware of his lack of clothes. He pulled the blanket closer. He only had a few moments to make sense of the situation before a chuckle emanating from another bed roused him. He propped himself up on his elbows; James was watching him with a knowing grin, huddled under the covers of his own bed.  
"Morning, Moony," he said. "Sleep well?"  
"Good morning." Remus' brow furrowed. "I… yes. This is Sirius' bed." James gave a barking laugh.  
"Nothing gets past you, eh?" He rolled over onto his back and returned to the magazine he'd been reading. There was the sound of water from the bathroom, and soon Sirius came into the room, pyjama pants slung low on his hips, his torso bare. When he saw Remus he smiled, and he padded over to the foot of the bed and took a seat.  
"Hi there, gorgeous." Remus' eyes widened as Sirius leant in for a kiss, but soon his arms had snaked around the other boy's neck, pulling him down. Memories of last night flooded over him, and he grinned into the kiss. His reminiscence was cut short as a pillow collided with Sirius' head, prompting him to pull away and glare at James, who rolled his eyes.  
"I'm happy for you, mate, but get a room."


	16. Kyss mig

_Kyss Mig_ by Axel Algmark.

* * *

There was a party in the Gryffindor common room. The final quidditch game of the season had been won; enterprising seventh years had snuck crates of butterbeer from Hogsmeade, and sweets had been pilfered from the kitchens as well as from the village. Somebody had brought a muggle stereo and was blasting rock at full volume, much to the chagrin of those few who wanted to sleep. James, who was being celebrated as a hero for his skills with the snitch, was quite happily snogging Lily in front of a crowd of roaring onlookers. Peter had managed to snare a skinny sixth-year with wildly curly blond hair, whom he was feeling up in a corner. Remus found the whole thing rather distasteful, but nonetheless revelled in the mood. He smiled to himself where he sat, wedged between a passionately kissing couple and a scared-looking second year in one of the couches. As the song switched, Sirius sauntered over to him and offered him his hand. Remus, grinning, took it, and they climbed the stairs to the dormitory. The moment the door swung closed behind them they fell into a kiss, and, well. Remus supposed he could see the appeal.


	17. I was just thinking

_I Was Just Thinking_ by Teitur.

* * *

He was curled up in the corner of his cell, cold stone pressing up against his back, bones aching beneath brittle skin. He might've been shivering, but he'd long stopped noticing. Two years. He'd counted the days; he'd been in here for two years. For all the things he missed – the open sky, the smell of grass, the feel of sunshine – one stood at the front of his mind like a beacon. When he closed his eyes he saw scarred lips, soft brown eyes, and hands with long, calloused fingers. He smiled to himself, small and secret; the dementors had stalked outside the bars of his cell door for every moment he'd been here, and yet they hadn't taken it away. He loved him. As much as he ever had. Once in a while, when there was a good night, he dreamt that they slept together. Waking up from that – realizing it wasn't real – was more painful than the kiss of any dementor.


	18. The blower's daughter

_The Blower's Daughter_ by Damien Rice.

* * *

It had been a quiet meeting; the Order was hopelessly bitter. As the members left the room one by one, ushered by Molly, Sirius lingered behind. Remus was still in his chair, face grey and pinched as he watched his folded hands. Sirius approached him, running his hand along the backs of the chairs. Remus looked up, offering him a slight smile. Sirius placed a hand on his lined, scarred cheek, and Remus turned away. Sirius sighed.  
"I still can't take my eyes off you."  
Remus, not meeting his eyes, got to his feet and allowed himself to ghost his hand over Sirius' hip as he walked by him. When he reached the door, he turned and gave the slightest shake of his head. His steps were heavy as he left the room.


	19. I'm not calling you a liar

_I'm Not Calling You A Liar_ by Florence + the Machine. In a shocking turn of events, this is more or less a direct sequel to the last chapter!

* * *

The sky was overcast, blocking the setting sun from view. Remus sighed as he stood at the window of Grimmauld Place. Sirius was on the couch behind him, arms crossed and eyes distant. The room was silent. Finally Remus' shoulders slumped and he glanced at Sirius out of the corner of his eye.  
"It's not that I don't still love you." He rubbed at his eyelids. Sirius nodded slowly.  
"I know." His voice was so heavy these days, hoarse and sad. "It's not the same. Just don't lie to me."  
Remus turned to face him, bracing himself on the windowsill. "You know I wouldn't. But it's… I can't. Not like this. I'm sorry."  
Sirius squared his jaw, took a breath and walked away.


End file.
